I grew up in a traditional Baptist church, but instead of finding belonging, I often felt judged—by kids and adults alike. Those early experiences damaged my view of church and eventually of Christianity itself. During high school, I visited many churches, longing for God and for a safe place to worship Him with others, but I never found that kind of community.
My family struggled in many ways. We were poor financially, but also poor in stability, affection, and faith. My father battled addiction and was often volatile toward me, my mother, and my sister. We moved constantly, never staying anywhere long enough to put down roots. Faith was hard to hold onto in that kind of uncertainty. When my uncle died, it was the first time I remember feeling truly angry with God, and from that point forward, my faith continued to slip.
“I’ve finally found a safe place to raise my child and grow in my faith.”
As I spiraled, my anger deepened. I skipped school, drank, smoked, and put myself in situations that were dangerous and damaging. Looking back now, I see just how many times God protected me when I was far from Him. I also experienced hurts—some of them deeply personal—that shaped me in painful ways. But even then, God never let go. Only later did I begin to understand that grace.
When I turned eighteen, the environment at home had become so unhealthy that I left to live with my best friend and her mother for the rest of my senior year. After graduating, I considered moving to Missouri to rejoin my mother and sister. Then I met John Henkel—and everything changed.
There is no doubt in my mind that God placed John in my life at exactly the right time. I stayed here, choosing to live with my aunt so I could get to know him better, and it remains one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. He was patient and kind, never pushing me faster or further than I could go in my faith. When he chose to rededicate his life to Christ, it inspired me to explore my own relationship with God again.
After the birth of our daughter, Sadie-Marie, I experienced a season of deep postpartum struggle—the darkest period of my life. And in the middle of that darkness, I realized something profound: I missed God. I missed His presence, His steadiness, His love. The moment that truth clicked into place, I knew what my heart had been longing for all along.
“I felt God move me more today than at any point in my life.”
Today, Shaun, your sermon expressed so many of the emotions I’ve carried about my pregnancy, my fears, and my journey back to Christ. I was once terrified of pregnancy and childbirth, yet I faced my greatest fear and was given my greatest gift. Through my daughter’s purity and joy, my faith came alive again. She is living proof to me that God is real, faithful, and endlessly loving.
My deepest hope is to build a stronger foundation for her than I ever had—to encourage her to grow her relationship with God and to give her a church home where she can learn about Jesus with others. You all have given me a safe place to raise my child, and I am so grateful to finally join this congregation and call it home.
It may have taken more than ten years to get here, but today, I felt God move me more clearly than ever before. When He nudged me to come forward and speak to you both, my heart was overflowing with love, gratitude, and peace. Thank you for everything. Your ministry has impacted me—my heart, my faith, and my life—far more than you could ever know.
